How We Can Create Connections Outside of Work
Written By WIN Speaker, Emily M. Dickens
In late April 2020 I participated in a webinar organized by the WE EMPOWER—G7 Team to explore concrete ways that private sector companies could support their employees, business partners and community members during COVID-19, with special emphasis on ensuring women’s economic security and well-being. The audience included private sector and government employees from EU and G7 countries as well as Latin American, African and Eastern European countries.
In just a few months, women’s economic security and well-being had become a key concern while we dealt with the impact of the pandemic. Most of the jobs deemed essential were jobs with a high percentage of female workers. And, for those women with office jobs, their ability to work remotely was impacted by caregiving duties. Women were leaving the workforce in droves and the world was concerned. SHRM, like many organizations, stepped up to provide resources and tools and convince elected bodies that improving public policy in these five areas would relieve the plight of women during and following the pandemic: Workplace Culture, Paid Leave, Workplace Flexibility, Inclusion, and Pay Equity.
Two years later I’ve realized that in our efforts to solve this problem for workers, we overlooked the fact that some of this could have been abated if community and personal networks of years past still existed. Cultivating and replenishing these networks requires intentional effort on the part of the worker—not the employment community. With the likelihood of a recession imminent, we stand to see many more women negatively impacted if we don’t talk about the importance of these networks and get to building them.
In a recent article I noted that a “supportive, effective network isn’t just ‘people you know professionally’ – it’s a community built on genuine connections, strengthened by vulnerability, generosity, and intentionality. And contrary to outdated notions of networks, quality is much more important than quantity. The key to a good network is depth, not breadth. You may know 500 people, but if you want a job reference or someone to pick your child up from school or take your parent to a doctor’s appointment, you need to know exactly who to reach out to at the right time.”
Taking the time to cultivate and nurture these networks is a personal investment that will add value to your role as an employee, workplace leader, and community member. Overreliance on employers to accommodate your personal needs impacts your wellbeing by ceding too much control of things that matter most. To thrive, focus on creating relationships that outlast your time with any one organization.
This can be difficult for many professionals. SHRM’s new report on women in leadership shows that female managers, especially female managers of color, are less likely to feel included in key networks at their organization than male managers. For example, our survey showed 56 percent of female managers of color feel they can talk about their personal life at work versus 79 percent of white male managers.
Here’s where intention comes into play. Each day you interact with other men and women who don’t work with you. They may be clients, they may be parishioners at your church, they may be your neighbors. When you’re in the same space, get to know them. There’s something healthy about being a little reluctant to ask just anybody for something. So don’t jump in with the speech about you trying to improve your network. Be thoughtful and do a little research on them, either through observing them when you’re together or the good old-fashioned way—Google.
At first pass, you’re looking for people who you’ll cross paths with often enough with to create a real connection. There will be others who you target because they just pique your interest. You may see them less often, but something about their career path or what you’ve seen of their life resonates with you. Then there are the people who have an expertise you need. Think carefully about the scope of the relationship you want so that you don’t misuse the opportunity. But if the risk of not trying to connect outweighs the risk of trying, then do it.
Living beside you, seated beside and within your past are people who can help you create a network that provides you freedom to address the unexpected in your life without relying on those who pay you. Have you thought of the value of joining a committee within your alumni association, HOA, or a group centered around your passions? Investing your time in this way now will pay off considerably. To be clear, don’t turn away from your employers’ efforts to provide flexibility, training, etc. Just be less dependent upon it.
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More About The Author
Emily M. Dickens
Chief of Staff, Head of Government Affairs and Corporate Secretary, SHRM
Emily M. Dickens is Chief of Staff, Head of Government Affairs and Corporate Secretary for SHRM, the Society for Human Resource Management. A member of the executive team, Emily has responsibility for implementing the CEO's vision, corporate governance, global outreach, government affairs, and the organization’s buildings and property. She serves on the executive board of the North America Human Resource Management Association (NAHRMA) and is Secretary-General of the World Federation of People Management Associations (WFPMA).
She is a graduate of North Carolina Central University and North Carolina Central University School of Law.
