The Best Negotiation Hacks for Women
Written by Katie Johnson, WIN Staff
It is no secret that negotiating leads to better outcomes overall for women. A decade ago, women were negotiating at a rate 2-3x LESS than their male peers. Today, women are negotiating at the same rate as men. Although this is a step in the right direction, many women still feel uncomfortable with the thought of negotiating or lack the confidence to speak up. For almost all women, we face what is called the “negotiation penalty”: being seen as too “aggressive”, “pushy”, or “bossy”. As much as women should ask for more, research has shown that women sometimes pay a price for self-advocating.
The wage gap still perpetuates even in 2021. According to a study by Payscale, women only earn $0.82 for every dollar a man makes. Over her lifetime, a woman can lose out on up to $407,760 on average. 1 in 4 women thinks their gender has played a role in missing out on a raise, promotion, or opportunity to get ahead according to McKinsey’s Women in the Workplace research.
The need for negotiating is clear, but when women are expected to live within a narrow band of behaviors and female leaders are disproportionately disliked for behaving forcefully, women can feel discouraged from negotiating for their value.
Gender stereotypes influence negotiations and the way we build relationships. We must be honest and open that these biases exist. But the best way to get rid of these biases is to negotiate well.
Practice Assertiveness
For many women, simply speaking up about their needs or desires can seem like a daunting task. It can often feel confrontational. We are raised to see confrontation as a sign of aggression and to remain “on our best behaviors”. As girls, many women were reared to be the “mature” ones, and refrain from being a burden to their teachers or parents. But being assertive does not mean you need to be contentious.
Practice speaking up for your needs when the stakes are low. For instance, when you’re at a restaurant and they bring the wrong entre, politely ask the waitress to fix the order. Evaluate what the potential consequences are, and if they are minimal, then speak up. Your voice matters. The more you practice assertiveness, the more comfortable you will become with speaking up for yourself.
Negotiate Communally
Men can negotiate salary by merely speaking of their own competencies. But for women, this approach comes with the “negotiation penalty”. One way to overcome this is to link your competencies with communal concern. It becomes about what you can do to fulfill the needs of the company or to fulfill the needs of a specific person.
Be collaborative in your ask. Reframe your value with how it has benefitted everyone or how you will benefit everyone. Instead of solely stating your ask, phrase it as “If I were offered A, then I could do X, Y, Z, for the organization, growth, etc.” This reframe helps you come across as collaborative and community-oriented which helps mitigate the negative reputational effects.
Think Bigger Than Yourself
Perhaps it is our caretaker psychology, but women tend to negotiate best when negotiating on behalf of someone else. You have the right to ask for what you are worth. And it’s important to remember that. More financial power means more political power. This negotiation could be the thing that leads to real organizational change in the long run. Asking for more is not a selfish act, instead, it is your social responsibility. You are doing it on behalf of every woman at your company, for every woman everywhere.
Biases will continue to exist, so the best way to overcome them is to arm ourselves with education and understanding. Don’t let someone else’s biases undermine your value.
Remember that the best way to drive equality is to ask for what you’re worth.
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