Preparing for Your Next Successful Negotiation
Written by Daniella Kahane
Knowledge is power. We know that. We’ve heard it before. Many times. And yet how often do we fail to wield the necessary knowledge before walking into a negotiation. Sometimes it is due to avoidance. As humans, we tend to avoid the things that make us feel uncomfortable and negotiation is definitely one of those things for more people. A majority of women, at nearly sixty-percent, have never negotiated their salary, for instance. But avoidance prevents us from taking the right steps to set us up for success. Walking in unprepared, not having done your homework, is like showing up for a race without having put in the time training. Most of us cannot run a marathon this way and we shouldn’t expect to shine in a negotiation without having done the necessary pre-work either.
So what is that work? I like to think of it as: KNOW Before You Go.
K - Knowledge. There it is again. But it really does sit at the cornerstone. If this is a salary negotiation, ask yourself, have you researched the field to know the competitive landscape? Have you assessed all the information you could about the offer on the table, what the company is looking for, or what its reputation is?
N - Needs. Before you walk into a negotiation, do a self-assessment. Know your own needs as well as the needs of your counterparty, or negotiating partner. Tune into yourself and free-write what your ideal outcome of the negotiation looks like. What do you really want out of the conversation? What would make you happy? Be careful not to fall into the familiar trap of assuming the “winning” result is what you want or you could be throwing your negotiation weight into the wrong vehicle for you. To do a thorough check-in sit with your thoughts, allow them to bubble up for you, write them down, or speak with the people in your corner to help flush out what you are thinking, be it a spouse, partner, close friend, coach or therapist if you need some external help.
O - Options. This is your BATNA. Before you go into a negotiation, the #1 piece of leverage you can have is a strong alternative or counter option. BATNA, which stands for Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement is a fancy way of saying, if you don’t accept this offer, or if this offer falls through, what is your alternative. If you have a strong alternative (or even better, multiple strong alternatives) you will have more leverage in the negotiation and it will influence how you negotiate and what your walk-away point is. This leads us to…
W - Worth. Before you negotiate you must get in touch with your own worth! I am underscoring this but I would highlight, bold it, italicize it too… All these things because, for women especially, our worth is a key component in getting what we want and what we deserve. Too many women hold themselves back for fear of being perceived as aggressive, bossy, demanding, angry… fill in the blank, but knowing your worth will enable you to move beyond that fear, to simply seeing your ask as a linear equation to your self-worth and the value you will be bringing to the company/project/relationship, etc. When you know your worth and back it up with real facts, experiences, and coordinates from your past experience, your unique skill-set, and personality, your proven perseverance, etc. you will feel more confident expressing it and you will also know what your walkaway number or scenario is. When you’ve determined your walkaway number/scenario etc. write it down, on paper, or somewhere you can go back and see it because too often we get sucked into a negotiation and lose our compass. We fall victim to a completion bias where because we feel invested, our desire to complete the negotiation overwhelms our ability to cut the cord, or walk away. Having that walk-away point pinned on a sticky note to your laptop, or as your screensaver temporarily, will help steer you towards your bigger picture goals, rather than away from them.
There is so much to unpack with each of these concepts and we could do an entire workshop on each one (in fact we do) but hopefully, the term KNOW Before You Go Negotiate, helps you structure your own preparation before you walk into your next serious negotiation.
