I recently spent time with my cute-as-a-button, clever-as-a-fox 2 ½-year-old nephew.  During our time, I experienced things like Peppa Pig, Baby Shark (could have done without that), endless youthful energy, and personal longing for bed well before 7 pm.  In addition to caring for and shaping another human being, moms have their work cut out for them.

Today more than ever before, women are at the forefront and rising.  From the appearance of women-only co-working spaces, to the ever-increasing female-founded brands taking being launched, to the women’s march, and more women running for Congress than ever before, women are truly trending.  Yet, it can still be a struggle to find ways to empower other women in a more intimate way. 

This Thanksgiving season, we wanted to shift the focus away from negotiating with others, and onto negotiation with the self. We are constantly negotiating with ourselves: how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about the future, about our lives, about our partners, about our work, our friendships -- the constant conversations in our mind are micro negotiations that can exhaust us and leave us feeling depleted and depressed.

According to psychotherapist, Dr. Michelle Maidenberg, there are key ways to be a more effective and empathetic communicator. Although her advice is useful year-round, we hope these tips will help you communicate more effectively with your loved ones and spend quality time enjoying each other's company, rather than falling into the negative patterns of communication this Thanksgiving.

You’re sitting at the negotiation table, utterly frustrated as a colleague, or perhaps your boss, stubbornly clings to her position.  Downtown, a mother feels like pulling her hair out of her head trying to get her son to clean his room. Across town, a couple can’t agree on Thai or Italian.  We negotiate almost every day since, after all, conflict’s a part of life. And most of the time, we’re not even aware we’re doing it.  

You know that moment - hands become sweaty, mouth suddenly dry.  You tell yourself over and over in your head to just say it. Just say it already.  It can’t hurt to ask. Speak up. And the sooner you say it the easier it will be.  Yet, the fear holds you down. You shrink back, trying to put the feeling out of your head. Pretending as if fear is somehow your friend, there to save you from embarrassment.  If only asking for what you wanted wasn’t so difficult. 

Negotiating in love is similar to negotiating at work: cooperation is key.

Although the same basic principles for success apply, in an intimate relationship, getting what you need also requires influencing your partner in positive ways.